Yesterday was not the best day. I’ll be honest with you.
I have my days when I think I am killing it. Such a good mom– so patient, so calm, so understanding.
But that is not every day. And yesterday was not one of those days.
I tried. I did.
But I failed. I lost my temper. I threatened. I let the attitude of my teen get the best of me. I stormed off and I slammed pots and pans as I started making dinner.
And the fight went through my mind, over and over again like a reel looping on Instagram.
I replayed it and replayed it
And as I did, I thought about how I had been disrespected again. And how nothing I said ever seemed to make adifference. Or ever seemed to matter to that teen.
That child always acted as if she knew better. I have lived on this earth and in this world for almost 55 years, but apparently, since I am so old, nothing I know or have learned matters anymore. I am an antique, outdated, no longer relevant. My knowledge is as well.
Such were the thoughts rolling around in my head as I chopped garlic and onions. Such were the thoughts causing me to feel angrier and angrier as I stirred the peppers, garlic and onions in the olive oil.
Putting the lid on the pot, I picked up my phone and did what my kids do all day. I scrolled to escape.
And what came up first– a video of a man who was doing a triathlon for his brother who is paralyzed and in a wheelchair. But he does not do these triathlons for his brother, he does them with him, pushing him in his wheelchair as he runs, swimming with his brother’s body in a floatation device across a lake or river and pulling his brother as he bikes across the country.
He does it for one reason and one reason alone.
Love.
Love of his brother.
Extraordinary, unyielding love.
Phew. I take a breath and wipe away the tears running down my cheeks.
Love.
All the best and right things are done because of it.
And as silly as it may sound right now, it righted me.
Why is this work with my teens so hard?
Because I love them so much. Because I want them to get the chance to be the very best and greatest that they can be.
It starts now, you know. It does.
We (parents, grandparents, caregivers) have to start now.
We cannot wait until they are past this, until they have passed through these years.
No, we have to do the hard work of these years.
And we have to learn what is happening during these years inside those minds that can be harnessed and celebrated.
An anthem. That’s what I need. I need an anthem for these years. One that I can sing in my head when the days are really hard and there seems no light at the end of this tunnel. A song that pushes me forward, gives me hope so I can give them hope.
As ludicrous as this may sound, these years are years to celebrate what is happening in our teens.
Then they will be given every opportunity to dream big, live big and one day do great things.
These years can be beautiful if we listen to our teens and help make them understand themselves so they can become who they want to be.
